the eye

Today the
postman brought
me a brochure
from EARWAX—
Extinct Animal
Resurrection With
Academic eXpertise—
suggesting that if
I donated both
money & a sample
of my DNA they
might be able
to bring back
the Amazonian
smilodon. I de-
clined. Now if it
had have been
the Agile frog . . .

wednesday newstrip

Stirred up by Bindi Irwin's emotional performance on Dancing With The Stars, Kim Jong Un said his country was ready to fight any war waged by the United States ∙ Auckland Zoo celebrated the release of its 300th hand-reared kiwi chick by joining a meeting of the security council in Sochi, Russia, chaired by Vladimir Putin ∙ rallies in the Victorian city of Bendigo yesterday drew 600 people for & against the launch of a new series on LifeStyle FOOD ∙ Doctors at the Royal Children's Hospital in Melbourne are refusing to discharge asylum seeker children, with members saying they cannot ethically let them go back to detention centers.

for Yosa no Buson

lighten

wednesday newstrip

Frogs face mass extinction with new research showing hundreds of species have been lost over three decades due to factors such as pollution, habitat destruction, & a woman who tried to bring cow urine into the country ∙ a simple childish fight over a puppy led an 11-year-old boy to shoot and kill his eight-year-old neighbor in the US state of Tennessee ∙ Pram Minister Malformed Turnip-Ball has hailed the discovery, in a remote area of Indonesia, of a new species of mammal dubbed the hog-nosed rat as "a gigantic foundation stone for our future prosperity" ∙ following the signing of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, New Zealander train passengers can expect some delays & cancellations today.

passing through

A line from Henning Mankell

Just got tumblr for my
blackberry! My lipids
go up. There's a lot of
Winter still to come

so some body fat is a
helpful thing. It's what
cowboy poetry is all
about. Nude therapy

has an indisputable
tabloid character but can
breathe life into a city's
stagnant urban core.

Then a small dog dons
snazzy new pumps &
makes an incisive
contribution to the long-

standing debate over
authenticity in talent
competitions. Gentrification
is far from complete.

R.I.P.

wednesday newstrip

The latest central bank to cut interest rates in an unexpected move has proved no subject is taboo, no public sensibility too sensitive to trash ∙ giant killer lizards will get their first New Zealand public outing as fully-fledged, flying aeronautical wonders during the Warbirds Over Wanaka International Airshow ∙ one of the greatest ways to enjoy the water is out on a kayak. The two students who died in a tragic kayaking incident on Lake Tekapo yesterday were on a break from university ∙ a tiny fossil that was once Mr. Garrison's penis has become the first physical evidence that giant reptiles & the animated adults-only cartoon South Park co-existed for a time during the Pleistocene in Australia ∙ radicalisation kit links green activism and 'alternative music' to a man wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask who made off with a BMW motorcycle from a Melbourne car dealership.

able was I

the directions of emotion

What lips my lips have kissed, & where, & why, I have forgotten, & what arms have lain under my head till morning; but the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap & sigh upon the glass & listen for reply; & in my heart there stirs a quiet pain for un- remembered lads that not again will turn to me at mid- night with a cry. Thus in the winter stands a lonely tree, nor knows what birds have vanished one by one, yet know its boughs more silent than before: I cannot say what loves have come & gone; I only know that summer sang in me a little while, that in me sings no more.

is no parenthesis & death i think paragraph for life's not a back in my arms laugh, leaning each other: then we are for which says eyelids' flutter is less than your ure of my brain cry—the best gest- all flowers. Don't lady i swear by than wisdom are a better fate approves, & kisses my blood world Spring is in the to be a fool while kiss you; wholly will never wholly syntax of things any attention to the first who pays since feeling is

oncology

wednesday newstrip

Archaeologists have excavated ex-Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit from a Pre-Roman era tomb at Pompeii, the town buried in a 79AD volcanic eruption ∙ a local Conservative party group has cancelled a planned "pig race" fundraising event after allegations emerged that British Prim Minister David Came*on had inserted his private parts into a dead pig's head at university ∙ a woman is being counselled after allegedly catching a Brisbane childcare worker trying to insert his private parts into her friend's two-year-old son's mouth ∙ new Pram Minister Malformed Turnip-Ball will not live in the official Sydney residence Kirribilli House, preferring instead to stay in his $50 million harborside mansion ∙ scientists have discovered that supermassive black holes spiraling towards one another can communicate between themselves by humming at incredibly low frequencies.

Can we go now?

The 2015 Ig Nobel Awards

It's been a while since I noted one of my favorite lists. I'm rectifying that omission now.

CHEMISTRY PRIZE — For inventing a chemical recipe to partially un-boil an egg.

Callum Ormonde and Colin Raston [Australia], and Tom Yuan, Stephan Kudlacek, Sameeran Kunche, Joshua N. Smith, William A. Brown, Kaitlin Pugliese, Tivoli Olsen, Mariam Iftikhar, Gregory Weiss [USA]

PHYSICS PRIZE — For testing the biological principle that nearly all mammals empty their bladders in about 21 seconds (plus or minus 13 seconds).

Patricia Yang [USA and Taiwan], David Hu [USA and Taiwan], and Jonathan Pham, Jerome Choo [USA]

LITERATURE PRIZE — For discovering that the word "huh?" (or its equivalent) seems to exist in every human language — and for not being quite sure why.

Mark Dingemanse [The Netherlands, USA], Francisco Torreira [The Netherlands, Belgium, USA], and Nick J. Enfield [Australia, The Netherlands]

MANAGEMENT PRIZE — For discovering that many business leaders developed in childhood a fondness for risk-taking, when they experienced natural disasters (such as earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and wildfires) that — for them — had no dire personal consequences.

Gennaro Bernile [Italy, Singapore, USA], Vineet Bhagwat [USA], and P. Raghavendra Rau [U.K., India, France, Luxembourg, Germany, Japan]

ECONOMICS PRIZE — The Bangkok Metropolitan Police [Thailand], for offering to pay policemen extra cash if the policemen refuse to take bribes.

MEDICINE PRIZE — For experiments to study the biomedical benefits or biomedical consequences of intense kissing (and other intimate, interpersonal activities).

Awarded jointly to two groups: Hajime Kimata [Japan, China]; and to Jaroslava Durdiaková [Slovakia, USA, U.K.], Peter Celec [Slovakia, Germany], Natália Kamodyová, Tatiana Sedláčková, Gabriela Repiská, Barbara Sviežená, and Gabriel Minárik [Slovakia]

MATHEMATICS PRIZE — For trying to use mathematical techniques to determine whether and how Moulay Ismael the Bloodthirsty, the Sharifian Emperor of Morocco, managed, during the years from 1697 through 1727, to father 888 children.

Elisabeth Oberzaucher [Austria, Germany, U.K.] and Karl Grammer [Austra, Germany]

BIOLOGY PRIZE — For observing that when you attach a weighted stick to the rear end of a chicken, the chicken then walks in a manner similar to that in which dinosaurs are thought to have walked.

Bruno Grossi, Omar Larach, Mauricio Canals, Rodrigo A. Vásquez [Chile], José Iriarte-Díaz [Chile, USA]

DIAGNOSTIC MEDICINE PRIZE — For determining that acute appendicitis can be accurately diagnosed by the amount of pain evident when the patient is driven over speed bumps.

Diallah Karim [CANADA, U.K.], Anthony Harnden [New Zealand, U.K., USA], Nigel D’Souza [Bahrain, Belgium, Dubai, India, South Africa, USA, U.K.], Andrew Huang [China, U.K.], Abdel Kader Allouni [Syria, U.K.], Helen Ashdown [U.K.], Richard J. Stevens [U.K.], and Simon Kreckler [U.K.]

PHYSIOLOGY and ENTOMOLOGY PRIZE — For carefully arranging for honey bees to sting him repeatedly on 25 different locations on his body, to learn which locations are the least painful (the skull, middle toe tip, and upper arm). and which are the most painful (the nostril, upper lip, and penis shaft).

Awarded jointly to two individuals: Justin Schmidt [USA, Canada], for painstakingly creating the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, which rates the relative pain people feel when stung by various insects; and to Michael L. Smith [USA, U.K., The Netherlands]

FULL LIST with Scientific References can be found at Ig Nobel website, www.improbable.com.

wednesday newstrip

Three new bee species with unusually narrow heads & long mouths have been discovered by Oroton Group's big-ticket handbags, pushing the label back towards profit growth & driving its transformation from a mid-market discounter to an Australian luxury label ∙ an Australian photographer has captured a rare moment of animal communion with a shot of a seal humping a surfbreak whale off the New South Wales coast ∙ new Pram Minister & well-known dick tech head, Malformed Turnip-Ball, will not be going ahead with a Silicon Valley trade mission planned by his predecessor now that researchers have found asbestos in the crayons there ∙ severe storms on the New South Wales Central Coast have left a thick blanket of potentially harmful nanoparticles of titanium dioxide & silica covering roads & causing power disruptions to hundreds of homes.

intaglio

Adrenal Fatigue

Aleatory

wednesday newstrip

Commonwealth Bank services have returned to normal after a problem with electronic transactions left customers stranded in the midst of the morning rush hour, unable to pay for the inland railway idea floated again like clockwork as an election year nears ∙ Toe Knee Ass-Bit was caught laughing at a distasteful joke made by I'm_migrating Minister, Pastor Dustbin, regarding the rising sea levels that threaten the small island states of the Pacific ∙ there is growing anger within the ministry after a hit-list of Howard-era ministers reportedly in line to be demoted was published. A cabinet minister said he was in no doubt the reshuffle story had come from the Prom Minister's office but said the office was so inept it had actually harmed, rather than helped, the Government ∙ Japanese fishermen have killed the first dolphins of the season in a controversial annual hunt ∙ Australian researchers have made what they say is the first link between brain size & junk food, finding older people with unhealthy diets have smaller brains ∙ Malcontent Turncoatabull has overthrown Toe Knee Ass-Bit & is now Pram Minister of Australia.

The transposition of desires

[still]

Point CANAVERAL, a found poem

An important acoustic guitar on a $1 dollar billion NASA satellite has futile, minimizing scientists’ the trap files to really appraise the water in Earth’s dust to develop heavy rain pour conjecturing and watch global warming, officers said on Thursday.

A minute tool remnants working onboard the two,100-pound (950-kg) Soil Moisture Active Passive satellite, while its measure of fact can be more restricted.

The satellite’s high-powered radar technique, proficient at accumulating figures in swaths of harsh land as little as about more than 2 airline miles (thee kilometer) across, did not in July after lower than a three month period running, NASA said. The reason behind the catastrophe is below inspection.

Launched in January, SMAP was devised to shell out 3 many years in area, using sizing on the level of h2o within the greater couple of inch (six cervical mucus) along the Earth’s land.

Scientists had liked to mix SMAP’s high-res research along with records that are caused by the lower-resolution apparatus…

concern

wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit says the "very sad" images of a Syrian boy lying lifeless on a Turkish beach demonstrate the need for countries to adopt tough policies & launch airstrikes against asylum seekers arriving by boat ∙ Ass-Bit has also managed to anger the Islamic State movement by suggesting that an autonomous robot that can administer a lethal injection was more dangerous than they could ever be ∙ the Prom Minister has lost three trillion trees from his personal office in the nearly two years since being elected. That figure is eight times bigger than any other previous occupant's ∙ a parliamentary intelligence committee is expected to back the government's controversial anti-terrorism citizenship law changes ∙ hundreds of crown-of-thorns starfish have poured into Budapest's international train station after police re-opened it following a two-day standoff ∙ the head of the UN refugee agency in Jordan has questioned why Australia is spending more money on military operations in Iraq than it is on aid for Syrian refugees.

crossover

banco

Today the
postman brought
me a capital
letter. It felt
like a small
case of déjà vu.

Border Fence - for Márton Koppány

"Politicians love fences, but what fences do is create major humanitarian problems & a market for smugglers."
—New York Times

wednesday newstrip

The Royal New Zealand SPCA has defended the actions of police officers who shot dead an eight-inch penis that was causing chaos in the streets of Whanganui this morning ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit's paleo diet crusade has been compared to Hollywood actor Tom Cruise spruiking Scientology ∙ a new smartphone app that measures mood & brain power can show why people with communication disabilities tend to flourish on Twitter ∙ Mel Gibson says he was busy being fitted with a penis that was sculpted from his arm when a News Corp photographer claims she was shoved & spat on by the actor on Sunday night ∙ South Korea's president said Monday that anti-Pyongyang propaganda broadcasts will continue unless North Korea apologizes for planting land mines that explode whenever he presses the button connected to his testicles ∙ a cow has maimed Celebrity chef Pete Evans outside a Paddington cinema.

gerundive

suppression

wednesday newstrip

Within minutes of the immense chemical explosions that sent apocalyptic fireballs into the night sky over Tianjin, hackers claimed it was the release of data stolen last month during a breach at Ashley Madison, a dating site for people looking for affairs ∙ radio & TV personality Sophie Monk has allegedly been groped by the late Cecil the lion while filming reality TV show Celebrity Apprentice ∙ six police cars, six fire trucks, & a hazmat unit have been called to the office of Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit after a week of damaging debate that pitted cabinet minister against cabinet minister ∙ compelling new evidence that Donald Trump helped seed life on earth has emerged from experiments mimicking the bombardment of notes stuck on his fridge ∙ the presence of abundant pizza slices on the moon has been confirmed by prominent Canadian author & activist Naomi Klein in advance of her Australian visit later this month ∙ iconic supermodel / eterna-babe Heidi Klum had the audacity to tell the NYT that "climate villain" Toe-Knee Ass-Bit's looks were fading after he received an envelope full of glitter from same-sex marriage campaigners.

taken

eventually

wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit, facing a push on same-sex marriage, has attempted to avoid the subject by announcing that what was once Google will henceforth be known as Alphabet ∙ the Government's draft proposal to cut Australian carbon emissions by only 30 per cent has prompted the Australian Federal Police to issue a warning about Australians being duped into becoming drug mules ∙ the University of Sydney has released a report into the academic misconduct that led to 200 new Domino's Pizza stores being opened in Bali ∙ authorities have warned the public not to jump into their boats to ogle at tourists who are swimming around in Mechanics Bay because they refused to listen to another Kardashian story ∙ the universe is slowly dying and there is not much we can do about it.

shed shy turn and

Today the
postman brought
me The City That
Never Sleeps. "I'm
here for some R&R"
it said," & promptly
crashed out on the
La-Z-Boy in the front
room where it's
been snoring for
the last four hours.

wednesday newstrip

Plants can't feel pain or hunger like animals, but their cells can unite for a funky live cover of Queens of the Stone Age's "I Sat By the Ocean" ∙ Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has said he is open to the idea of using federal troops to stop thousands of mothers around the world breastfeeding together for one minute in public on Saturday ∙ an East Texas man ended up in the hospital after he fired a gun at an armadillo & the bullet bounced off the animal's back & hit the man in his face ∙ Facebook Inc (FB.O) announced on Thursday it has completed building its first full-scale drone, which has the wingspan of a Boeing 737 & will stop women from having abortions ∙ one in two teenage boys & girls have used a mobile phone to communicate stress in a way that's not so different from what animals do ∙ a piece of wreckage that washed up on an Indian Ocean island is suspected to have come from Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit, who has been missing in action since the beginning of the Brainwane Biteback choppergate scandal.

latest edition

unreal

ENNOCH

wednesday newstrip

A Jehovah's Witness elder told the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse that he believed a young woman had been sexually abused by her father but could not take action because he did not have a second witness ∙ thirteen new species of spider — including a brush-footed trapdoor spider — have been discovered in the House of Lords in Britain ∙ tech leaders & scientists, including Elon Musk, Stephen Hawking, & Steve Wozniak, warn that the deployment of robots capable of killing while untethered to human operators is "feasible within years, not decades" ∙ Khloe Karadashian has admitted she was left feeling slightly "traumatized" after hearing her mother have sex with Corey Gamble ∙ folks flicking through the Federal Court lists for New South Wales this month were taken aback by an admiral & maritime matter up for directions, filed by Fuk Hing Steamship Co Ltd, against the Shagang Shipping Co Ltd.

geographies: Happy Valley

Issue thirty-eight of Otoliths is now live

Issue thirty-eight of Otoliths, the southern winter, 2015, issue, has just gone live, & let me confess that even I am amazed by the quality & variety of the works included.

The list of contributors. Cecelia Chapman, Felino A. Soriano, Texas Fontanella, Heath Brougher, George McKim, Kyle Hemmings, Philip Byron Oakes, Jim Leftwich, Paul Summers, Annette Plasencia, Steve Dalachinsky, Karl Kempton, Vernon Frazer, Pete Spence, Eileen R. Tabios, Anna Ryan-Punch, Toby Fitch, Olivier Schopfer, Carlyle Baker, Lakey Comess, A. A. Kostas, John M. Bennett, Cheryl Penn, Joel Chace, Demosthenes Agrafiotis, Jack Galmitz, Ric Carfagna, Owen Vince, Keith Kumasen Abbott, Russell Bennetts & Rauan Klassnik, Marco Giovenale, David Greenslade, Chris Moran, Alyson Miller, Raymond Farr, John Pursch, Richard Kostelanetz, Michael Jacobson, hiromi suzuki, Tyler Pruett, Rosaire Appel, Lee Ballentine, Jessie Janeshek, Márton Koppány, Sal Randolph, Jim McCrary, John Lowther, Sabine Miller, Volodymyr Bilyk, Howie Good, John Martone, Tim Wright, Eric Hoffman, Bill Wolak, Jeff Harrison, David Adès, Kathup Tsering, Natsuko Hirata, Tim Gaze, Daniel Pilkington, sean burn, Patrick Williams, Rob Stuart, Amelia Dale, Spencer Selby, Tony Beyer, Cecelia Chapman & Jeff Crouch, Joseph Salvatore Aversano, Carol Stetser, Joe Balaz, Bobbi Lurie, Holly Friedlander Liddicoat, Ed Baker, Emma Corcoran, Sean Bolton, bruno neiva, Barnaby Smith, dan raphael, PT Davidson, Sheila E. Murphy, Cherie Hunter Day, A. Scott Britton, Marco Diotallevi, Willie Smith, Susan Connolly, SS Prasad, Michael Brandonisio, Johannes S. H. Bjerg, Mark Russell, Bob Heman, Ian Gibbins, J. D. Nelson, Lotto Thießen, Sam Langer, harry k stammer, & Katrinka Moore.

Also, the print editions of Otoliths issue thirty-seven are now available from The Otoliths Storefront where the complete back catalog of issues of Otoliths as well as a wide range of quite incredible & unique books can also be found.

wednesday newstrip

A British newspaper suggests that footage showing the Queen performing a Nazi salute as a child could have been deliberately leaked by Australian Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit to divert attention away from the storm of criticism over Federal Speaker Brainwane Biteback's $5,000 taxpayer-funded helicopter flight to a surfing competition ∙ a small wooden boat suspected to be carrying asylum seekers has been discovered in the swimming pool at actress Demi Moore's home ∙ two young Britons believe they're lucky to be alive after getting lost on a day walk in dense New Zealand bush & spending the night huddling next to a feathered dinosaur with wings like those of a bird ∙ an oil production vessel off the West Australian coast has made a landmark apology for using US prisoners of war as forced labour during World War Two ∙ according to a recent study, Australia is the most skeptical country in the world about environmental issues, with one in five Australians not believing in climate change.

rereworked

for Hernán Cortés

vacillate

brohemia 4

wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit has shed his clothes for a new Calvin Klein advertisement & popped fans' eyes by posting it on Instagram ∙ the U.N. refugee agency said the number of refugees fleeing Ariana Grande has topped 4 million ∙ a man involved in the outdoor dance party scene has pleaded guilty to licking a tray of donuts in a California shop ∙ a horrified parent has posted a video of Tina Fey & her Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series being "sucked" into a bouncy castle at an Auckland playcenter ∙ international scientists working in Australia have tracked a koala, uncovering some curious behavior & discovering that its venom is not only predatory against fish but can also be lethal to humans ∙ Federal politicians spent over half a million dollars on Australian flags in the second half of 2014.

kph Beethoven

wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit will move the "center of government" to the Islamic State group's stronghold of Raqqa in eastern Syria for a week next month in keeping with his election promise to offer girls as young as 11 access to contraception without parental consent ∙ a British mother says she has had her turtle seized by a Spanish hospital pending a GoPro tour of the Great Barrier Reef as seen from the point of view of its inhabitants ∙ the Agriculture Minister, Barnacled Joystick, has cited a Prom Minister diktat forbidding his ministers to appear watching sea lions do their groovy sea lion thing on the TV show Q&A, a spokesman for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation has said ∙ Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis has hinted he will resign if remote indigenous communities in the Torres Strait Islands & Northern Peninsula area vote 'yes' in Sunday's referendum on an aid-for-reforms package.

Pour Prévert, some autumn leaves, replayed

              l                         t
l
  e               l
                            o
          u
                                r
       f            e                          s
                     s

            i
     s
 
        e              m                  e

wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit was in Singapore last week promoting the shooting death of a Rebels bikie member whose body was found in bushland north of Sydney ∙ Toyota Australia has extended the range of vehicles involved in the Android Developer Tools safety recall ∙ notorious Australian terrorist Khaled Sharrouf is still alive after investing more than $1 billion in the retail petrol sector ∙ too much male sexual attention harms the potential of Australia's "great north" according to a new Australian & Canadian study ∙ what creature has a better life than a beloved, spoiled family fruit fly?

The little Corsican

VII.IV.XV

By Ed
Dorn's
early
light.

Today the
postman brought
me semen from
a papal bull. Un-
fortunately, the
only holy cow
I know of is too
busy camping

it up with the
rest of the crew
of the sixties TV
series Batman
to be available
for insemination.

wednesday newstrip

Speculation is rife that BlackBerry will do the previously unthinkable & release left-handed psychopaths & sociopaths on to the market ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit is rated in the top 10 dogs that attack people, says a vet ∙ kangaroos applaud 'creative thinking' behind means-tested public education ∙ climate change & the consequent concentrations of carbon dioxide that are expected by mid-century may cause Madonna to become the elephant in the room ∙ Green MP Mojo Mathers says vulnerable people are being pressured to buy hearing aids their pet dogs don't need ∙ the holy month of Ramadan provides us with an opportunity to rethink our priorities & to set our goals for the remaining year.

geographies: Cremorne

wednesday newstrip

Janet Yellen says it is hard to have great confidence in predicting what the market reaction will be to Iggy Azalea operating an iPhone or iPad without moving a muscle ∙ a statement released by China's foreign ministry says that China will cease building additional islands, though it plans to blend different fictional universes together to complete existing land reclamation efforts ∙ mind control is nearly here thanks to the decline of Tasmania's top predator, the Tasmanian devil ∙ Toe Knee Ass-Bit is facing another ministerial rift over proposed laws stripping intestinal bacteria of citizenship because the draft legislation is not expected to go back to full cabinet for further consideration ∙ researchers have discovered that terrorists can leak into the bloodstream after extreme exercise & cause a shift in the state's ecosystem.

The Charm v.4

wednesday newstrip

The Australian Competition & Consumer Commission is seeking industry feedback on whether or not supplying retail fixed broadband services to groups such as Islamic State would lessen competition in the online recruiting of homegrown fighters ∙ Health authorities are still looking for patients of an unregistered dentist who may have infected them with hepatitis & HIV while running an illegal summit on terrorism in Melbourne's west ∙ Homer & Marge Simpson are to separate after more than 25 years together following Australian Foreign Minister Julie Bookshop's claim that the Islamic State group is recruiting highly-trained technicians & scientists to take over the hit cartoon ∙ Malaysian authorities have detained "a Hydra-headed monster" for allegedly stripping naked on Mount Kinabalu in an act some locals say angered tribal spirits & caused a deadly earthquake.

hubble bubble

the chariot

wednesday newstrip

Asylum seeker boat crashes onto reef after being turned back by an aggressive foreign fish that can move across dry land & choke birds ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit has read the riot act to his colleagues, warning there would be personal consequences for anyone caught leaking, according to leaks from last week's party room meeting ∙ environment groups believe Australia has embarrassed itself by ducking questions at a United Nations climate change conference in Germany on the fatal attraction between certain marsupials & why these species literally fuck themselves to death ∙ National Australia Bank has completed its $5.5 billion capital raising after selling more than 65 people, including a pregnant woman, overnight on Thursday ∙ laboratory tests will soon reveal how the last wild population of the critically endangered orange-bellied parrot came to be infected with the latest version of Apple's iOS in the Tasmanian forest.

faux fauve

appliance

wednesday newstrip

To lump the Microsoft Surface three, launched late last month, in the identical class as a woman, 22, shot in the upper leg in a residence behind Joe's Organic Market on Victoria Rd is to significantly misrepresent it ∙ Chile's Very Large Telescope has captured a stunning new image of a Petition to Take Away Iggy Azalea's Billboard Music Award for "Fancy" ∙ insurgents seized the opening ceremony of the 65th FIFA Congress in Zurich in the latest in a series of recent gains by a newly effective opposition coalition that includes the Syrian branch of Al Qaeda ∙ a man who appears to have attacked a bear at a Polish zoo is suffering from a systemic fear of failure that is stifling the growth of innovative new ideas ∙ the humble vending machine could have a Wi-Fi device installed to track elderly dementia patients.

envelope

wednesday newstrip

Kim Kardashian West says her sister Kylie Jenner has been unhappy, since she was 10, with China's territorial claims around artificial islands built in the South China Sea ∙ the heavy sell-off in bank shares has deepened, led by Westpac's dive into a new disc format ∙ images on an Islamic State website show what looks very much like an iPhone 5S but with the colored plastic backing of an iPhone 5C overrunning Iraqi government defences east of Ramadi ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit is insulting Australians' intelligence by using negative & childish slogans to deal with the current refugee crisis ∙ Google on Thursday apologized for a Maps mishap that directed users to the White House when a racist term was searched.

trans/verse

          Or is
               it an inter-
                    section
                         where ideas
                              have the

                             greenlight &
                         words can't
                    turn right
               to follow
          them?

wednesday newstrip

Republican lawmakers in the U.S. Congress backed new spending cuts for Amtrak on Wednesday, just hours after it landed on a property north of Longreach in Queensland ∙ the Federal Government's National Ice Taskforce will begin its community hearings on board a balloon in South Australia's south east ∙ Agriculture Minister Barnacled Buoys says two pet dogs belonging to US actor Johnny Depp will be put down unless the actor removes them from Australia ∙ Toyota and Nissan are recalling tens of thousands of cars in Ireland that may be affected by claims Netflix has overtaken Foxtel as the subscription service of choice in Australia ∙ Malcontent Turncoatabull has urged his government colleagues to show "more respect" for new mothers. Scientists are scrambling to recover the priceless data.

sou

the proposition

wednesday newstrip

Drug companies are on the brink of war with the Ass-Bit government over proposed cuts in this week's budget which they warn will restrict Kylie Jenner's access to artificial plumping techniques to make her pout more full ∙ police in Indonesia have reportedly arrested a man for trying to smuggle the world's fifth-largest economy stuffed inside of plastic water bottles ∙ wearing army fatigues & rare birds, the fifth in line to the throne disembarked in the Ohio jail featured in the film The Shawshank Redemption ∙ Russia said an unmanned supply ship set for the International Space Station has gotten a lot of flak for its efforts to improve the nutritional value of school lunches & reduce the rate of childhood obesity ∙ mysterious 'alien' signals from Parkes telescope found to be coming from facility’s microwave ∙ climate change is a hoax led by the United Nations so that it can end democracy & impose authoritarian rule, according to Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit's chief business adviser.

The Charm v3

the aperture

wednesday newstrip

Scientists are at a bit of a loss after finding the most overhyped fight in the history of sport orbiting a small cool star some 500 light years away ∙ the Australian doctor who featured in an Islamic State propaganda video is being investigated by TV Week & the Apple Watch ∙ Turkish riot police fired water cannon & tear gas to disperse a thousand celebrities using social media during this year's Logies ∙ about one in six species now alive on the planet could become extinct as a result of the Eurovision Song Contest ∙ women "invite" rape whenever they have the nerve to walk alone at night, according to the mayor of Albury in New South Wales.

The acrobats' routines finish, & the elephants enter. The circus band, silent for the last twenty-three minutes, does not so much strike up but rather glides into the introductory accompaniment, Sibelius' Valse Triste. A graceful transition. Pindar & Duncan would be equally delighted. "The light foot hears you, & the brightness begins, / god-step at the margins of thought....."

Issue thirty-seven of Otoliths is live

Issue thirty-seven of Otoliths, the southern autumn 2015 issue, is now online.

Depending on your time zone, it's either Walpurgisnacht or May Day. Which means, along with occasional bonfires & dancing & raisings of the People's Flag, it's time for Otoliths to celebrate its birthday.

So join in any or all of the four activities, kick up your heels & sing as you read / view work from a multinational crew consisting of Naomi Buck Palagi, Laura Hyde, Michael Prihoda, Johannes S. H. Bjerg, Mark Cunningham, Felino A. Soriano, Philip Byron Oakes, Claudio Parentela, Ed Baker, Ivan Argüelles, Jim Leftwich, Kevin Rabas, Claire Nashar, George Moore, Kyle Hemming, John Lowther, Amanda Earl, Massimo Stirneri, Hamish Spark, Annette Plasencia, Lakey Comess, Glenn R. Frantz, Bill DiMichele, Roger Mitchell, Collin Schuster, Texas Fontanella, Thomas Fink, Thomas Fink & Maya Diablo Mason, Claudia Serea, John M. Bennett, Thomas M. Cassidy & John M. Bennett, Sarah James & Dan Haynes, J. Crouse, Willie Smith, Richard Kostelanetz, Catherine Zickgraf, Cecelia Chapman, Cecelia Chapman & Jeff Crouch, M. J. Gette, Javant Biarujia, Raymond Farr, Jack Galmitz, Howie Good, bruno neiva, Tony Rickaby, B. J. Muirhead, Carol Stetser, Steve Gilmartin, Karl Kempton, David Dick, hiromi suzuki, John Pursch, Pete Spence, Jim Meirose, Marco Giovenale, John Jay Flicker, Joe Balaz, Jeff Harrison, Bobbi Lurie, Jake Goetz, Bob Heman, Les Wicks, Enola Mirao, Alberto Vitacchio, Marcus Liljedahl, Marcia Arrieta, Angad Arora, Carla Bertola, Yuxing Xia, sean burn, Jack Little, Paul Siegell, Jen Crawford, Shloka Shankar, Matt Trease, Jill Jones, Márton Koppány, Mary Cresswell, William Allegrezza, PT Davidson, Tim Wright, Gian Luigi Braggio, Anne M Carson, Brentley Frazer, Véronique Champollion, Marty Hiatt, Michael Brandonisio, J. D. Nelson, & Katrinka Moore.

Look round, the Frenchman loves its blaze,
The sturdy German chants its praise,
In Moscow's vaults its hymns were sung
Chicago swells the surging throng.

wednesday newstrip

Chinese scientists say they've genetically modified human embryos to prepare for an alien invasion, sparking debate over mysterious slow-flying bright lights in the sky ∙ since walking British headline Katie Hopkins wrote her now notorious column referring to refugees as "cockroaches" & Australia as a nation of "tiny hearts," she has won four Grammys & her debut album has shot back to the top of the ARIA charts ∙ Indonesia is facing an international petition demanding the country change its name to Outdonesia as it prepares to execute 10 convicted drug smugglers by firing squad ∙ pro-Israel Republican members of Congress are seeking to start a war with Iran because the Nike sports brandname sounds like an Arabic slang word for sexual intercourse ∙ recent studies have linked prolonged exposure to those cheesy songs from radio that get stuck in your head to a decrease in the size of the brain & a higher risk for strokes & possibly dementia.

what's within?

Today the
postman brought
me a life-sized
re-enactment of
the first crossing
of the Atlantic
Ocean by a hot
air balloon. I
almost drowned.

Haute Horology

Why not Dance, Rrose Sélavy?

wednesday newstrip

Australian Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit Abbott has been caught on camera guzzling a glass of beer seven seconds after being dropped by the BBC for hitting a producer ∙ The Greens say that the son of a Sydney nightclub owner being jailed for at least three years for raping a teenager in a Kings Cross alleyway & then bragging about taking her virginity is the beginning of the end of fossil fuel consumption in Australia ∙ in a world-first study, scientists have transplanted a sexually transmitted disease off the coast of Tasmania to better understand the impact of climate change ∙ theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking was diverted from Perth's new Fiona Stanley Hospital because of a large oarfish raising temperatures amid raucous cheers in the main building ∙ the US government announced it may look for a new patch of ocean after a coal fire power station washed up at the entrance of the Otago Harbor.

marsch gasses

from won des laits


ennuit

luddiet

meanderthal

offencesitterive

punnetrate

radiosh

tractile

fan dan go

        that's
   when he
        ended up
dancing
            with the
         gypsy
             girl

wednesday newstrip

It was the perfect recipe for a party—a woolshed, pig on a spit, bonfire, beers, music, & a video allegedly showing Islamic State militants using bulldozers & explosives to destroy the ancient Assyrian city of Nimrud ∙ Australians who enjoy illegal copies of TV shows & movies will lose thousands of dollars of childcare & welfare benefits ∙ BHP Billiton has been reprimanded by a senate committee & given two weeks to report back after it refused to vaccinate its basic financial information against a bunch of old school mates ∙ the weight of the first four episodes of HBO's new Game of Thrones season 5 plummeted by five kilos in five days whilst in Perth's new Fiona Stanley Hospital ∙ a man has just discovered he had sex with his new fiancée’s father & wonders what to do next.

the flensing

do d'all

wednesday newstrip

A man has been flown to hospital in Bundaberg after being bitten by a pig ∙ a new app will use deforrestation images to help doctors identify ageing behaviors in patients ∙ after enjoying a week in the limelight, the Australian dollar has been charged by police after it flashed its K-cup breasts at a Google camera car & had them posted online ∙ Congressional Republicans have condemned Sydney's Catholic & Anglican leaders after 55 greyhound carcasses were discovered in their Easter messages ∙ an investigation is underway into how a makeshift cage in a Canberra school came to be used as a "withdrawal space" for the Ukraine crisis which has brought the world closer to nuclear war than at any point for a generation.

geographies: Sandy Corner

Today the
postman brought
me a ground to air
missile launcher
with black currant &
sweet red capsicum
on the nose & under-
lying subtle smoky
hints of oak
& gooseberry.

meerkat alert

He was sure there was trickery involved. Hypnotism, or auto-suggestion, induced by the surroundings, the sumptuous meal, the wine. He sensed he had fallen victim to a well-practiced magician's legerdemain.

wednesday newstrip

The Large Hadron Collider reveals it got a boob job ∙ the Australian government is changing how it expresses climate change targets in a way that could make it appear to the public as though it is cutting greenhouse gas emissions more rapidly than it is ∙ Federal Treasurer Glowstick HotKey has dodged questions about the still untitled Legend of Zelda game currently in development ∙ new Indiana law protects those who say Carrie Underwood's baby boy is already taking after his daddy ∙ LG's smartphone-driven gas explosion promises to put exotic worlds within reach of the masses ∙ iron ore hits new spot-price era lows after religious beliefs forbid it from serving gays.