Wednesday, April 26, 2017

wednesday newstrip

Prim Minister Malcontent Turnipballs has declared that new arrivals seeking citizenship must prize "Australian values" & prove their commitment to & absorption of the existing national cultural mores by being able to channel illegal political donations through a third party without detection · a self-proclaimed 'messenger of God' who predicted Precedent DoNuts T®ump's rise to power has warned global nuclear war is just weeks away following the conservative federal government's latest push to move public service jobs to regional Australia · Australia has returned to space with the successful launch from Cape Canaveral of three locally designed & built research satellites which will allow parents to choose the gender of their baby.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Today the
postman brought
me the plot of
Bambi. He came

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Today the
postman brought
me a nuclear
warhead with a
personal message
from the President
emblazoned on it—
"Hope this launches
your career," it said.
I'd been told his
comprehension skills
weren't all that great;
but thought he'd
understood when I
asked him if he still
intended to launch
a nuclear strike
on North Korea.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

wednesday newstrip

How to tell if your dog has eaten chocolate & what to do next · Nintendo doesn't want your money — it wants your soul · Coles has been forced to wind back its Easter advertising campaign in which it asked workers to hold signs with the words "I’m free" after staff were sexually harassed by customers · scientists have created a device that can pull drinking water from the air using only the power of sunlight · people have been warned to avoid fishing & eating seafood they catch off the coast of Brisbane following a deadly firefighting foam spillage this week · Air Force drops 'mother of all bombs' on DoNuts T®ump's watch & breaks it.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

espoir / désespoir

She drovedialectics west. Enthusiasmforensic. Aspirations. Hopepolyhedron. Then everything particulate disappeareddodecahedron in front of her. Life’s like catafalque that someshadeclothtimes.               Time                went                       by.                                Things began dichotomous to reform.                Dream?                Reality?                No matter.           She decided entourage to try again.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

out from the archives

Now that the precedent has decided to bomb Syria, & the military given carte blanche to bomb whomever they feel like bombing when they wake up in the morning, here's a ten year old precedent from a precedent president, a piece named after the embedded Magritte, The Listening Room.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

wednesday newstrip

Prose Secretary Sean Spicegirl has denied DoNuts T®ump was under the influence of methamphetamine when he launched 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles against Syria, after a suspected chemical attack killed at least 86 people, including children · Philippine President Rodrigo No-Detente has ordered troops to live on up to 10 unoccupied islands & reefs in the South China Sea after crude oil prices spiked, the dollar weakened slightly, & markets fell in Asia on Friday because the U.S. fired dozens of coleoid cephalopods, a group encompassing octopuses, squid, & cuttlefish, into Syria · in a dramatic reversal of policy, Chinese officials have admitted that at the top of their concerns about the high stakes summit between President Xi Jinping & DoNuts T®ump is the worry that Precedent T®ump might embarrass their leader by making much more extensive use of RNA editing than other marine & land animals · Apple has been accused of falsely & misleadingly telling customers that because a California two-spot octopus ate their iPhone, they won't be getting it back · DoNuts T®ump bombed Syria 'because daughter Iyanka HisChain told him to.'

Monday, April 10, 2017

in homage to Samuel Beckett


Wednesday, April 05, 2017

wednesday newstrip

DNA repair discovery could lead to drugs to reverse ageing, fight cancer, & help more than 70000 accountants prepare tax returns using Watson · study shows effect of spiritual retreats on neurotransmitter systems in the brain · two-thirds of all space travel caused by DNA replication errors, landmark study shows · Wikileaks document dump reveals how CIA has been hacking Apple devices for a decade · we're not seeking Tom Brady's Super Bowl jerseys: China leader · participants in a reality show that sent them to live in the Scottish Highlands for a year, cut off from the rest of the world, have emerged from the end of it to find that nobody was watching.

Monday, April 03, 2017

Today the
postman brought
me a bacon &
egg burger with
aioli dressing. It
wasn't what I
wanted — I'd
actually asked
for the Gettysburg
Address — but
I didn't complain.
Hunger causes us
to compromise