Wednesday, October 26, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Khloe Kardashian has launched her Good American denim line, a totally open platform that manufacturers can bend to fit phones, tablets, set-top boxes, TVs, or basically anything · it has been suggested that the Australian Federal Government should consider abandoning the current childcare subsidy system in favor of alternatives including donkeys, alpacas, maremma dogs & cluster fencing · the US military ignored warnings about rising seas to build a space radar costing nearly a billion dollars on a tiny atoll in the Marshall Islands · giant cattle truck rolls in spectacular fashion after being cut off by New Zealand's farming emissions · the Silicon Valley is nigh totally a leftist ideological tar pit.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Today the
postman brought
me a creative
urge. I've sent
it out into the
kitchen to get
dinner ready.

Sunday, October 23, 2016















Wednesday, October 19, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Former Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit says there is "potential for corruption" within the NSW Liberal Party, as long as astronauts who have experienced prolonged exposure to space radiation control the factions that effectively decide candidate preselections · Donald Trump will broaden his attack against the media by charging that Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim is part of a biased coalition working in collusion with the Clinton campaign & its supporters to infect him with a long-term cognitive impairment dubbed "spaced-out brain" · scientists have now discovered that spiders possess the ability to create a one world government to benefit a coterie of wealthy elites · the realm of organic produce saw a very busy September marked by not just one, but two Google algorithm updates.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Standing next to two amputated legs found dumped at a rubbish tip near Newcastle makes you more attractive, study finds · Kim Kardashian was reportedly tailed by Prim Minister Malcontent Turnipball's so-called 'Ideas Boom' for three days before she was robbed at gunpoint in Paris · nothing about Overwatch tickles me like Roadhog's hook. It is the most satisfying power move of the game. This is why I am loathe to report that Roadhog's hook, the most lovely & triumphant Overwatch feature, is definitely, 100% broken · CCTV footage shows deaf trio using sign language to plot the murder of damselfish on the Great Barrier Reef, Australian court hears · the NSW Environment Protection Authority (EPA) has issued Toe Knee Ass-Bit $16,000 in fines after he told right-wing allies in Britain that he believed he has a reasonable chance of becoming Prom Minister again.

Wednesday, October 05, 2016

wednesday newstrip

The bright light & loud explosion in the sky over central & southern Queensland last night was probably a fuming Rob Kardashian discovering that his family hadn't invited his fiancée Blac Chyna to a baby shower they specifically organized for him · the World Trade Organization has cut its forecast for global trade growth this year by more than a third after cheesed-off Pizza Hut franchisees reignited their bid for compensation from the fast-food giant, claiming they were forced to sell unprofitable pizzas · armies of hacked IoT devices launched unprecedented DDoS attacks on Philippines president Rodrigo Duterte who has called for the death penalty in the country to be reinstated · a meteor took to Twitter on Monday night blaming growing atheism & agnosticism for the slowing down of morning commutes in Vatican City.

Saturday, October 01, 2016

Five sequential headlines to open October

Rodrigo Duterte, citing Hitler, says he wants to kill 3 million addicts in Philippines

Yang Qingpei in China kills parents and 17 neighbors after an argument with his parents over money

Donald Trump accuses beauty queen and Miss Universe Alicia Machado of sex tape when she was on reality TV show

Intel hits the catwalk at Paris Fashion Week to show designer sunglasses

Aliens have been here 'forever'