Wednesday, April 29, 2015

wednesday newstrip

Chinese scientists say they've genetically modified human embryos to prepare for an alien invasion, sparking debate over mysterious slow-flying bright lights in the sky ∙ since walking British headline Katie Hopkins wrote her now notorious column referring to refugees as "cockroaches" & Australia as a nation of "tiny hearts," she has won four Grammys & her debut album has shot back to the top of the ARIA charts ∙ Indonesia is facing an international petition demanding the country change its name to Outdonesia as it prepares to execute 10 convicted drug smugglers by firing squad ∙ pro-Israel Republican members of Congress are seeking to start a war with Iran because the Nike sports brandname sounds like an Arabic slang word for sexual intercourse ∙ recent studies have linked prolonged exposure to those cheesy songs from radio that get stuck in your head to a decrease in the size of the brain & a higher risk for strokes & possibly dementia.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Today the
postman brought
me a life-sized
re-enactment of
the first crossing
of the Atlantic
Ocean by a hot
air balloon. I
almost drowned.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

wednesday newstrip

Australian Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit Abbott has been caught on camera guzzling a glass of beer seven seconds after being dropped by the BBC for hitting a producer ∙ The Greens say that the son of a Sydney nightclub owner being jailed for at least three years for raping a teenager in a Kings Cross alleyway & then bragging about taking her virginity is the beginning of the end of fossil fuel consumption in Australia ∙ in a world-first study, scientists have transplanted a sexually transmitted disease off the coast of Tasmania to better understand the impact of climate change ∙ theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking was diverted from Perth's new Fiona Stanley Hospital because of a large oarfish raising temperatures amid raucous cheers in the main building ∙ the US government announced it may look for a new patch of ocean after a coal fire power station washed up at the entrance of the Otago Harbor.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

marsch gasses

from won des laits








Thursday, April 16, 2015

fan dan go

   when he
        ended up

            with the

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

wednesday newstrip

It was the perfect recipe for a party—a woolshed, pig on a spit, bonfire, beers, music, & a video allegedly showing Islamic State militants using bulldozers & explosives to destroy the ancient Assyrian city of Nimrud ∙ Australians who enjoy illegal copies of TV shows & movies will lose thousands of dollars of childcare & welfare benefits ∙ BHP Billiton has been reprimanded by a senate committee & given two weeks to report back after it refused to vaccinate its basic financial information against a bunch of old school mates ∙ the weight of the first four episodes of HBO's new Game of Thrones season 5 plummeted by five kilos in five days whilst in Perth's new Fiona Stanley Hospital ∙ a man has just discovered he had sex with his new fiancée’s father & wonders what to do next.

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

wednesday newstrip

A man has been flown to hospital in Bundaberg after being bitten by a pig ∙ a new app will use deforrestation images to help doctors identify ageing behaviors in patients ∙ after enjoying a week in the limelight, the Australian dollar has been charged by police after it flashed its K-cup breasts at a Google camera car & had them posted online ∙ Congressional Republicans have condemned Sydney's Catholic & Anglican leaders after 55 greyhound carcasses were discovered in their Easter messages ∙ an investigation is underway into how a makeshift cage in a Canberra school came to be used as a "withdrawal space" for the Ukraine crisis which has brought the world closer to nuclear war than at any point for a generation.

Sunday, April 05, 2015

Today the
postman brought
me a ground to air
missile launcher
with black currant &
sweet red capsicum
on the nose & under-
lying subtle smoky
hints of oak
& gooseberry.

Saturday, April 04, 2015

meerkat alert

He was sure there was trickery involved. Hypnotism, or auto-suggestion, induced by the surroundings, the sumptuous meal, the wine. He sensed he had fallen victim to a well-practiced magician's legerdemain.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

wednesday newstrip

The Large Hadron Collider reveals it got a boob job ∙ the Australian government is changing how it expresses climate change targets in a way that could make it appear to the public as though it is cutting greenhouse gas emissions more rapidly than it is ∙ Federal Treasurer Glowstick HotKey has dodged questions about the still untitled Legend of Zelda game currently in development ∙ new Indiana law protects those who say Carrie Underwood's baby boy is already taking after his daddy ∙ LG's smartphone-driven gas explosion promises to put exotic worlds within reach of the masses ∙ iron ore hits new spot-price era lows after religious beliefs forbid it from serving gays.