Wednesday, July 27, 2016

wednesday newstrip

About 1 a.m. tomorrow, police from Brisbane Water Local Area Command were called to meet a northbound train at Woy Woy Railway following reports there was a man with a live snake on board · the absolute best pet you can have, according to the research, is a sika deer – that sweet little type of deer native to Japan · mass incarceration of drug users, & the failure to provide proven harm reduction & treatment strategies, has led to high levels of HIV, tuberculosis, & hepatitis B & C infection in delegates to the Republican Convention · researchers at Case Western Reserve University are making progress towards their goal of developing a completely organic robot by combining tissue from a sea slug with 3D-printed components · Australia's Air Force chief says he wants to see warships & planes continue to regularly sail & fly into the South China Sea, despite the rising military tensions in the disputed waterway.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

101 tips on bonsai

#3 The simplest way to acquire a bonsai is to buy one ready-made.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Baboon smashes Pokemon Go player's iPhone after it was dropped in zoo enclosure · mall security robot runs over toddler in silicon valley · hundreds of pit bulls took part in a march on Saturday to protest bans on the allowing of new selective state schools in England · this new algorithm can tell how old you are based on your Instagram activity · millions of two- & four-legged Montrealers are rapidly adopting high intensity fitness sessions to cram into their busy lives in the battle to beat the bulge · Emma is homeless & sleeps in front of the David Jones store in Bourke Street. See your ad there.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Swiss authorities will fine Muslims up to US$10,000 for wearing a burka in public · a small robot designed to investigate & safely discharge explosives might be harmful to your health as it travels the world to capture unique & emotionally compelling images · a teenager from Brisbane tortured a foster child by burning the boy's face with the heated rim of a new smartphone game · on Thursday night, the Dallas Police Department attached a bomb to cute Nintendo characters Squirtle & Pikachu & deployed them to detonate & kill a sniper while keeping their own investigators out of harm’s way · Wall Street stocks have risen · the Turnipball regime continueth. Just.

Wednesday, July 06, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Protesters arrived outside the 'Six-inch alien's house' found in Chile with signs saying 'liar liar pants on fire' & underwear with politicians' faces on them · why did the giant kangaroos & rhino-sized wombats that once roamed Australia die out? Scientists agree there are two contenders: climate change or irregular insulin injections · an early rush to vote saw Renault's first global 1-tonne pickup truck at several Queensland polling booths · alien hunters have announced the discovery of industry-funded climate change deniers on Mars · Malcontent Turnipball's audacious double dissolution gamble looked to have backfired spectacularly on Saturday night as long lines of aliens walked past the six-inch doorway to his house this morning carrying signs imploring him to stop killing in the name of the first-term Coalition government.

Sunday, July 03, 2016

I was going to post

one or other of the two photos below today, depending on who won yesterday's election.

My hope was the Labor would pull off a miraculous win, resulting in Turnipball ending up sliced. (& diced. But an s & d turnip doesn't look like turnip...)

All signs, unfortunately, pointed to a win by the conservatives, & a resultant swollen Turnipball, ecstatic at his cunning to remove the previous prime minister through back room machinations & scheming to have both the Upper & Lower Houses of Federal Parliament dissolved, creating a simultaneous election for both. (Usually it's just the Lower House & half the Upper.)

This latter was managed by presenting two pieces of legislation, "so important to the well-being of the country," that their failure to pass would provide sufficient cause for dissolution. That part of the plan worked. That British anachronism, the Governor-General of Australia, whose agreement was necessary to fully carry out the skulduggery, agreed, parliament was dissolved, & those two oh so important pieces of legislation were so important that they were never heard of again during the campaign.

Instead, there is no clear winner of the election. Not today, maybe not till sometime next week. Bull Shortening, leader of Labor, has brought the party thundering back after a savage defeat at the 2013 election. Malcontent Turnipball will probably carry the day, just; but will have difficulty surviving the sharpened knives of his own party for having, no matter what happens from here on in, left the conservatives in parliament even less in charge than they were before the double dissolution. Plus the D.D. meant lower voting quotas for the Senate, which has meant that the far right racists didn't need to get as many votes as they would normally need to gain representation in the Upper House. & they did. & there they are.