Wednesday, December 30, 2015

I could only hope

Recently I found a poet running around a grocery store parking lot, & I went through the steps of trying to find her owner. This has not been the first time I've tried to reunite a lost poet with their owner so it got me thinking. I see posts on facebook all the time of people who've found a poet & don't know what to do, so I figured I would throw this instructable together, & hopefully it will help reunite more lost poets with their owners.
Step 1: Approach with Caution

If you see a lost poet on the street & you are good enough to want to help them, approach with caution. Not all poets are friendly, & not all are vaccinated. Make sure you read the body language of the poet & make sure you approach slowly. Always let the poet sniff your hand before trying to touch them.

If the poet is injured, take them to the nearest vet immediately.

Step 2: Check for Tags

Once you have the lost poet, check the tags. Hopefully the owner has tags on the poet, & those tags have survived whatever the poet has gone through since being lost.

Step 3: Check for a microchip

If the poet doesn't have tags, the next thing you can check for is a microchip.

Step 4: Post that you found this poet everywhere!

If the poet doesn't have tags or a microchip the next best chance you have of finding the owner is spreading the word.

When people are looking for their lost poets they will check a variety of places.


If you post on craigslist, be very careful. If anyone asks you for money it's probably a scam. Always ask for proof of ownership. If this is truly the owner, they will have some sort of proof including pictures, vet records or paperwork from when they adopted/bought the poet.


If you have a facebook account, post that you found a poet & ask your friends to share. When I posted it got shared 300 times! Post on pages or groups that are designed for lost & found poets. For example "Lost & Found Poets Washington State." Again, if someone contacts you, ask for proof of ownership & be wary of anyone who asks for money.

Local shelter (Humane Society, ASPCA, etc)

Often times if someone has lost their poet they will contact the local shelter. They generally have databases of lost & found poets.

Local Veterinarians

If the person who lost their poet is local it's likely that their vet is local as well. You can call the vet with a description of the poet & they may recognize them.

If you still don't hear from the owner it's time to take the next step.

Step 5: Take the poet to a local shelter

Do some research & find a no-kill shelter.

The shelter will have some sort of protocol. At the shelter where I took the poet I found they hold them for 10 days for the owner to come forward, & then put them up for adoption.

Hopefully the owner will come forward, & if not, hopefully the poet will be adopted. Take comfort in knowing you did everything you could.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Today the
postman brought
me a walking
frame. I
couldn't keep
up with it.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

The Productivity Commission is calling for changes to weekend penalty rates for Indonesian terrorists arrested in a series of raids over a year ago ∙ a government-run newspaper warned that a boomtown in southern China would run out of space to dump the waste left behind from the 2015 Miss Universe pageant ∙ a giant 350kg saltwater crocodile has made an impressive journey back home after being featured in an anti-marijuana campaign ∙ a man has taken to social media to seek support to form a stable government after Miss World New Zealand's haka performance broke the traditional two-party dominance ∙ the USA has reinstated a tax break on a toxic algae that is deadly to dogs & could be harmful to hospitality & retail workers.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Ten years

since I first noted this
& it still applies.

apathy, n. Indolence of mind.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

wednesday newstrip

The Federal Court has forced the makers of Nurofen to pull a range of painkillers from chemists & supermarkets around the country after finding that a number of products falsely claim to target Hello Barbie, a Wi-Fi-enabled plaything who promises to be "just like a real friend" ∙ a man claiming allegiance to Islamic State is accused of hurling eggs & tomatoes at Kendall & Kylie Jenner's Sydney fashion event ∙ talk show queen Oprah Winfrey was spotted purchasing international carbon credits ahead of her exclusive live show in Auckland on Wednesday ∙ three-quarters of California's paroled sex offenders previously banned from taking power walks up Auckland's Mt Eden now face no restrictions after the state changed its policy in response in response to a court ruling.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Today the
postman brought
me a punching
bag in the like-
ness of Donald
Trump. I'm
thinking about
sending it back.
a + b – a = b:
I've done the
maths. If you
knock the shit
out of a shithead
you're left with
just the head. &
who wants to
be left with a
head like that?

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

wednesday newstrip

National Australia Bank chief executive says the lender will improve its return on equity following the discovery of the severed head of a pig dumped in a toilet near a mosque at the University of Western Australia ∙ thanks to the help of gravitational lensing first proposed by Albert Einstein as part of his General Theory of Relativity, the retail sale of raw apricot kernels is prohibited from today ∙a survivor has told a royal commission he overheard Cardinal George Pell joking about paedophile priest Gerald Ridsdale "rooting boys again" more than a decade before Ridsdale was convicted of multiple counts of child sexual abuse ∙ convoys of cars honked their horns throughout the night & dancers moved to salsa beats blaring out of speakers stacked in plazas under the moonlight after New Zealand was named the most ignorant developed country in the world.

Sunday, December 06, 2015

Today the
postman brought
me a Caliphate
safe house in
Syria. "What's
this?" I said. "I
asked for an
RAF Tornado
jet." "Don't worry,"
said the postman.
"I've leaked the co-
ordinates. There'll
be a bomber along
very very soon."

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

wednesday newstrip

A Melbourne youth has boasted online that he snubbed federal agents who tried to recruit him because of his ties to a Coca-Cola truck currently on a national tour of England in the lead up to December 25 ∙ paramedics say a man whose throat was pierced by a bullhorn as he tried to wrestle a steer to the ground is lucky it missed the hidden chamber, which may be the last resting place of the lost Queen Nefertiti ∙ the teen terrorist who killed a police worker in Sydney declares the tyranny of political correctness is stifling an examination of Islam’s role in the retrospective of works by British art duo Gilbert & George due to hit Australian shores for the first time ∙ the web site upon which links to new forensic techniques are displayed may receive vital blood vessels when readers click on the links.