Wednesday, December 27, 2017
The Dotard receives his Christmas wish. The U.S. has been exorcized from the surface of this planet & now shines gloriously from space. Not all good news — Israel now occupies the territory where the Wheat House once stood, & Guatemala, which used to be a beauty spot on T®ump's cheek, has now turned into a melanoma because The Dotard didn't believe climate change was real · USAmbUN Nickolodeon Hardly gave a party & nobody came · DoNuts T®ump barred from running against Putin in 2018 presidential election because he is no longer a citizen of Russia · Bitcoin extends sell-off as investors pare holiday bets. Withdraws from Sydney to Hobart yacht race because it can no longer afford to take part · Martians lay claim to that part of Planet Earth where the U.S. used to be. Nobody is left to fight back.
Thursday, December 21, 2017
In this iteration, DoNuts T®ump currently has the top billing under the Big Top, but nobody is sure what rôle he is playing, &, anyway, nobody can afford to go. So again we make do by taking what is around us & reassembling it to breathe new life into it, in the process turning the main man into a stick figure prone to stumbling when the light is shone upon him.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
DoNuts T®ump having difficulty deciding which century to send the United States back to. Settles on the Third, because he's fairly certain he can count that far · Chainsaw 'attackers' say they were visiting a brothel, if only with a gift card · DoNuts T®ump sets out national security strategy of 'principled realism.' Doesn't know what either word means, but is certain he can buy them from Walmart · celestial object 'not an alien spacecraft,' say Irish scientists. Nestlé announce it's their new 'Big Milo Tin' which blew away during construction · US Precedent blames mysterious 'mass of warm rock' underneath New Hampshire & Vermont for the WannaCry attack.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Bitcoin price surges as Melb couple is accused of horrifically abusing woman kept as slave for 8 years · 'I will kill you.' Coalition MPs attack AGL decision to shut Liddell coal power station · Google Maps tells you it's safe to get off the bus now that T®ump has made peace possible with his Jerusalem declaration · US warships get ready for missiles in first trilateral drills since Queens of the Stone Age singer Josh Homme kicked Kim Jong Un in the face · police retrained to respond to unusual terror threats arising from Xbox treasure hunt to celebrate new game · new form of matter, excitonium, finally proved to exist after 50-year search.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Wednesday, December 06, 2017
DoNuts T®ump forges ahead with plans to recognise Mar-a-lago as Israel's capital despite warnings. Font on teleprompter wasn’t large enough for ToeDump to read properly. Ends up announcing Mars will be Iran’s capital · Islamist suicide plot to assassinate Christine Keeler foiled by her death · Google wants Progressive Web Apps to replace DoNuts T®ump. Announces Silicon Valley will be the new capital of Iceland · Bronze Age iron weapons came from outer space, claims DoNuts T®ump. Announces Tough®ump Tower will be the new capital of Indonesia · residents from a small Irish village where Viagra has been manufactured for the last 20 years say there is "something in the air" that makes them "hard." DoNuts T®ump visits to announce somewhat stiffly that this will be Ireland's new capital.