wednesday newstrip

Archaeologists have excavated ex-Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit from a Pre-Roman era tomb at Pompeii, the town buried in a 79AD volcanic eruption ∙ a local Conservative party group has cancelled a planned "pig race" fundraising event after allegations emerged that British Prim Minister David Came*on had inserted his private parts into a dead pig's head at university ∙ a woman is being counselled after allegedly catching a Brisbane childcare worker trying to insert his private parts into her friend's two-year-old son's mouth ∙ new Pram Minister Malformed Turnip-Ball will not live in the official Sydney residence Kirribilli House, preferring instead to stay in his $50 million harborside mansion ∙ scientists have discovered that supermassive black holes spiraling towards one another can communicate between themselves by humming at incredibly low frequencies.