wednesday newstrip

The Royal New Zealand SPCA has defended the actions of police officers who shot dead an eight-inch penis that was causing chaos in the streets of Whanganui this morning ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit's paleo diet crusade has been compared to Hollywood actor Tom Cruise spruiking Scientology ∙ a new smartphone app that measures mood & brain power can show why people with communication disabilities tend to flourish on Twitter ∙ Mel Gibson says he was busy being fitted with a penis that was sculpted from his arm when a News Corp photographer claims she was shoved & spat on by the actor on Sunday night ∙ South Korea's president said Monday that anti-Pyongyang propaganda broadcasts will continue unless North Korea apologizes for planting land mines that explode whenever he presses the button connected to his testicles ∙ a cow has maimed Celebrity chef Pete Evans outside a Paddington cinema.