wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit says the "very sad" images of a Syrian boy lying lifeless on a Turkish beach demonstrate the need for countries to adopt tough policies & launch airstrikes against asylum seekers arriving by boat ∙ Ass-Bit has also managed to anger the Islamic State movement by suggesting that an autonomous robot that can administer a lethal injection was more dangerous than they could ever be ∙ the Prom Minister has lost three trillion trees from his personal office in the nearly two years since being elected. That figure is eight times bigger than any other previous occupant's ∙ a parliamentary intelligence committee is expected to back the government's controversial anti-terrorism citizenship law changes ∙ hundreds of crown-of-thorns starfish have poured into Budapest's international train station after police re-opened it following a two-day standoff ∙ the head of the UN refugee agency in Jordan has questioned why Australia is spending more money on military operations in Iraq than it is on aid for Syrian refugees.