wednesday newstrip

Within minutes of the immense chemical explosions that sent apocalyptic fireballs into the night sky over Tianjin, hackers claimed it was the release of data stolen last month during a breach at Ashley Madison, a dating site for people looking for affairs ∙ radio & TV personality Sophie Monk has allegedly been groped by the late Cecil the lion while filming reality TV show Celebrity Apprentice ∙ six police cars, six fire trucks, & a hazmat unit have been called to the office of Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit after a week of damaging debate that pitted cabinet minister against cabinet minister ∙ compelling new evidence that Donald Trump helped seed life on earth has emerged from experiments mimicking the bombardment of notes stuck on his fridge ∙ the presence of abundant pizza slices on the moon has been confirmed by prominent Canadian author & activist Naomi Klein in advance of her Australian visit later this month ∙ iconic supermodel / eterna-babe Heidi Klum had the audacity to tell the NYT that "climate villain" Toe-Knee Ass-Bit's looks were fading after he received an envelope full of glitter from same-sex marriage campaigners.