Monday, September 16, 2013

Toe Knee Ass-Bit wins both Australian election & ugliest animal vote

Toe Knee Ass-Bit declared to a roomful of Liberal faithful this morning that no one can be a "suppository of all wisdom."

Some other words from the past of Ass-Bit, The Man Who Would Will Has Been Annointed To Be King

On immigration:

1. ‘Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it’s not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia.’
2. ‘These people aren’t so much seeking asylum, they’re seeking permanent residency. If they were happy with temporary protection visas, then they might be able to argue better that they were asylum seekers’

On rights at work:

3. ‘Bad bosses, like bad fathers and husbands, should be tolerated because they do more good than harm’

On women:

4. ‘The problem with the Australian practice of abortion is that an objectively grave matter has been reduced to a question of the mother’s convenience.’
5. ‘I think it would be folly to expect that women will ever dominate or even approach equal representation in a large number of areas simply because their aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons’
6. ‘I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman’s right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man’s right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak’
7. ‘What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up, every year…’

On Julia Gillard:

8. ‘Gillard won’t lie down and die’

On climate change:

9. ‘Climate change is absolute crap’
10. ‘If you want to put a price on carbon why not just do it with a simple tax.’

On homosexuality:

11. ‘I’d probably … I feel a bit threatened’
12. ‘If you’d asked me for advice I would have said to have – adopt a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy about all of these things…’

On Indigenous Australia:

13. ‘Now, I know that there are some Aboriginal people who aren’t happy with Australia Day. For them it remains Invasion Day. I think a better view is the view of Noel Pearson, who has said that Aboriginal people have much to celebrate in this country’s British Heritage’
14. ‘Western civilisation came to this country in 1788 and I’m proud of that…’
15. ‘There may not be a great job for them but whatever there is, they just have to do it, and if it’s picking up rubbish around the community, it just has to be done’

On Nicola Roxon:

16: ‘That’s bullshit. You’re being deliberately unpleasant. I suppose you can’t help yourself, can you?’

The above are taken from The Age vs The Herald-Sun

Yet more words from over the years

Toe Knee Ass-Bit made such a faux pas on the 7.30 report this week, when he told Australia that they should ignore everything he says, unless it comes from a written statement. This differs from the trashmedia, it bears pointing out, as everything it writes down is probably bullshit.


"What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it's going to go up in price, and their own power bills when they switch the iron on, are going to go up."


Feminist Germaine Greer recently ridiculed the Prime Minister for the jackets she wears. In unvarnished terms Ms Greer said the clothes made the Prime Minister's backside look big.

This week the Opposition Leader Toe Knee Ass-Bit bought into the issue, agreeing with Ms Greer.


In promoting indigenous affairs to one of his top priorities, Mr Ass-Bit said there was no longer institutional racism in Australia and he believed most Australians saw Aborigines and Aboriginal culture as an “adornment” to the nation.


"I'm not someone who wants to see radical change (bringing in same sex marriage) based on the fashion of the moment."

"the push for marriage equality is just a fashion"


the opposition leader described the conflict in Syria as "baddies versus baddies" in a television interview Sunday.


Leader of the Opposition Toe Knee Ass-Bit, who famously expressed a fervent wish that his daughters would respect their virginity as the precious gift it is, and save it for their husbands.

Bernie Banton is a high-profile asbestos campaigner dying of asbestosis.

He attempted to present a petition calling for the last Coalition Government (2007) to subsidize Mesothelioma drug Alimta, but was left furious when the then Health Minister, Toe Knee Ass-Bit, was not at his office.

In an interview not long after, Ass-Bit labelled the petition a "stunt" and said Barton's terminal illness did not mean he was "necessarily pure of heart."


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