wednesday newstrip

Deposed Australian Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit will face a disciplinary hearing over a botched repair of the famous golden mask of King Tutankhamun ∙ all but one of Australia's state premiers & chief ministers have signed a declaration calling for a crack down on gay conversion therapists who claim they can "cure" homosexuality ∙ scores of medical experiments on mysterious, invisible structures shaped like noodles, lasagna sheets or hazelnuts are being conducted in secret at a number of Sydney hospitals & universities ∙ a new report suggests the reason most early extraterrestrial lifeforms would have been struggling to stay alive on Earth may be because a rapidly changing climate wiped out the 'lumps' in the thin gas that lies between the stars in our galaxy ∙ an apparent kidney transplant from a pig to a baboon will attempt to stand for parliament at Australia's next federal election.