wednesday newstrip

'Jihadi John' suspect Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, 24, has joined industry experts in warning of a looming global chocolate shortage ∙ an aspiring Kiwi film maker is having the last laugh after fooling a city council, a US talk show & thousands of people online with his video of a monster Toe Knee Ass-Bit flaunting his femininity in Melbourne on Tuesday night ∙ the best man at a stag party had to be pepper sprayed after becoming enraged that the Ass-Bit government has confirmed it will snub the United Nations Green Climate Fund to assist developing nations cope with global warming ∙ a new report has shown that Australia's ecosystems & habitats are under threat, with 138 species residing on an unprotected Kim Kardashian ∙ a change in the weather has triggered a public backlash after two women it hired as strippers pole-danced instead.