wednesday newstrip

Spain's King Juan Carlos is abdicating after almost 40 years on the throne, causing two flights to Bali to be cancelled & one delayed ∙ everyone's favorite festering sinkhole of vice was put to sword & flame on Monday night in an otherwise modest upgrade to Apple's mobile OS ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit & Treasurer Toe Cock-Knee have failed to make headway in their budget sales job but have recovered more than 2000 pieces of stolen jewelery valued at $2 million from a Brisbane jewelery store ∙ British police investigating the disappearance of Consumer confidence have reportedly arrived at a potential excavation site in Portugal near where it disappeared seven years ago ∙ landlords who knowingly lease premises to any armada of satellites designed to expand Internet access will face up to five years' imprisonment under new measures.