wednesday newstrip

A West Australian telescope has captured images of the Pope's tiny Ford Focus blowing up about 12.5 billion years ago ∙ George Clooney likes to wear the shackles of imposed foreign ownership restrictions on his sleeve ∙ Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit has searched the Yarra River & a rural property looking for evidence in relation to the murder of the Australian dollar ∙ a huge "wet zone" hundreds of miles beneath the surface of the Earth has created a mouse that expresses a fluorescing 'biosensor' in every cell of its body ∙ Russia has denied declaring war as it builds up the number of troops on its border with the Union Movement ∙ Communications Minister Welcome Turncoat has hinted that high-definition satellite imagery would be an ideal tool to use for the cold calls he makes to multinational letter writers.