tuesday newstrip

Prime Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit allowed himself a brief moment of celebration on Saturday after he was killed by a US drone aircraft ∙ an incident involving two mysterious barges Google has parked on a river in WA was resolved with no injuries to staff or prisoners ∙ a pilot has escaped with little more than a grazed thumb after he was forced to slash his "Rolls Royce" paid parental leave scheme & cap payouts for wealthy women ∙ the battle of breakfast TV has barely survived two hours detained in a Russian prison ∙ two health workers have been disciplined for professional misconduct after the body of an investment bank was found in a trash can ∙ the Environment Minister has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of New Zealanders.