Melania

is a cheeseball infomercial of staggering 
inertia, made out of car rides & cold silences,
so polished it slips out of her hands. I
immediately regret not buying popcorn 
so at least one of my senses would be enter-
tained. It's a gilded trash remake of The Zone 
of Interest, a forty-million-dollar journey into 
the void, a film that should have been called 
Day of the Living Tradwife, a lazy, bafflingly 
incurious documentary that insults the 
person it is trying to celebrate. All the money 
in the world can’t make good propaganda, &
this is shameless propaganda that could put 
you to sleep, a preening, scowling void of 
pure nothingness, an unabashed, fly-on-the-
gilded-wall fawn job, a tedious, criminally 
shallow puff piece, a Slovenian sphinx flick 
nixed. Pure, endless hell, an unbelievable 
abomination of filmmaking that if they 
showed it on a plane, people would still walk 
out. 20 stage-managed days in the life portrays 
world events as B-roll between wardrobe 
changes, feels entirely at a remove from any 
objective reality, a face like a fist that makes 
(her) look like Marie Antoinette skulking in 
her cake-filled chateau. This must be the night-
mare endpoint of celebrity documentaries. 
Does Melania dream of AI-generated sheep? 
 
Sources:
BuzzFeed, Decider, empireonline, Los Angeles Times, MS Now, New York Magazine, 
The Atlantic, The Daily Beast, The Guardian, The Hollywood Reporter, The Independent, 
The Irish Times, The New York Times, The New Yorker, TheWrap, Vanity Fair, Variety, 
& Vulture.