wednesday newstrip

The state department says DoNuts T.®ump's nominee for US ambassador to the United Nations, Heather Nauert, a former Fucked News anchor, has withdrawn, giving as her excuse her fear that a colossal asteroid hurtling through space at nearly 20,000mph might interesect with the Earth & expose as ridiculous her earlier comment that "the D-day landings are evidence of the longstanding relationship between Washington & Berlin" · former US cardinal defrocked for sex crimes against minors & adults, in many of which he defrocked his victims · “I didn’t need to do this, but I’d rather do it much faster” said DoNuts T.®ump, declaring a national emergency because Tristan Thompson has been caught cheating on Khloe Kardashian again & Demi Lovato is back in Rehab · spare-courier to the Precedent, Perk Mince, told the annual Munich Security Conference in Germany that he brings "greetings from POTUS Mark XLV.” At this, there was a complete silence from the crowd. I. Yankher Rump, who was in the audience, was not amused.