wednesday newstrip

Farms, roads, & alleged homophobic slurs are fast slicing up the world's wilderness, leaving 70 per cent of the world's remaining forested land less than one kilometer from the foreign ministers of Japan, China, & South Korea ∙ the federal government will soon issue cashless welfare cards to stop sky-gazers looking up in awe as the moon blocks the sun in a total solar eclipse ∙ video posted to social media websites appears to show Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit stumbling upon a drug crop & turning it into a raging fire ∙ a bushwalker missing for seven years has been accused of human rights abuses ∙ crowds across the country have rallied against the Ass-Bit government's prediliction for drinking & gambling & spending their parliamentary stipend on slices of northern Europe.