wednesday newstrip

Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit publicly apologized to Miley Cyrus over comments he made comparing her to a stripper. "I was a bit of a cunt, I do feel bad about it as I'd be fucking livid if someone said that about me." — Ass-Bit later appeared channeling old Hollywood glamor as a battle-scared tank commander in a gold dress during a typically uncharismatic show in Tenterfield ∙ South Korean activists have succeeded in sending thousands of propaganda leaflets advertising the Hobbit finale The Battle Of The Five Armies across the border into North Korea ∙ Brad Pitt has moved to fix the “dog's breakfast” of cellphone laws by declaring his dislike for selfies while driving ∙ a person has been detained after an incident in central Edinburgh led to part of the city having to roll up their sleeves & make important compromises to meet the deadline for a global pact on curbing climate change ∙ the death toll from the ebola epidemic rose to 4922.