wednesday newstrip

A leading mental health organization says it is considering filing a formal complaint against Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit who controversially claimed that Australia had been "unsettled" before the arrival of the European invaders of the First Fleet ∙ airport security has been increased after a small blast in a vacant Victorian prison cell ∙ SAMSUNG is about to take the battle to Apple head-on, confirming its first range of premium tablets will draw attention to the area of athletes' crotches ∙ US scientists have said reports of two distant Earth-like planets, which some believed might be able to harbor life, were wrong, that they were either an artifact of stellar activity or 600 images of young girls in sexual poses superimposed on one another ∙ a speeding terror warning which fatally hit a fox-terrier puppy on Haumoana Beach has been called "dark" & "ugly" by the dog's owner.