Sunday, September 25, 2016

a mere black silhouette

Engulfed in shadow, with no
light reaching them, your

daughters will prophesy

that stormy weather can inter-
fere with cloud computing.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

footwear #5

Friday, September 23, 2016

geographies: Žilina

        There never was
          a train to
                   Bratislava. Or if
     there was, I was
             never at the
         station to
               see it leave.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

the odds of

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

wednesday newstrip

A leopard seal has swapped the icy waters of Antarctica to take up residence at an Auckland marina where she loudly blames humans for causing global warming · experts believe that the current backbench revolt in the conservative coalition party room has brought the planet closer to World War 3 than it has been in over five decades · a subterranean network of terror tunnels built by Hamas over 10 years to gain access into Israel has been treated for smoke inhalation after a bus full of peak hour commuters caught on fire · Burgen ad asking "Are you still a Burgen virgin?" leaves some wondering whether sex is really needed to sell bread · all lanes of the Sydney Harbor Bridge were temporarily closed after the executive chairman of now defunct stockbroker BBY, Glenn Rosewall, enlisted the help of a psychic to prepare revenue & cash flow forecasts · a giant inflatable moon has been filmed rolling across the streets of Fujian in south-east China, as Typhoon Meranti made landfall · a banking blogger has turned his glare onto school fundraising, accusing his daughter's school of "compulsory conscription" for a "staggeringly uneconomic" market day.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Today the
postman brought
me a severe
dose of para-
noia. I thought
long & hard
about leaving it
at room temper-
ature, but finally
decided to keep
it chilled until I
could celebrate
people stopping
talking about me.

Monday, September 19, 2016

prurient interests

We can't get borax here
in the Netherlands so
the thing I use instead
is glue & liquid starch.
A lifeguard in his or her
high chair might come
with a bonus magnet
but still won't guarantee

any better result. The lack
of regulation is pretty
interesting. Who would
believe this shirt was
brand-new when we got
here? Naivety can be a gift.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

footwear #4

Saturday, September 17, 2016


Friday, September 16, 2016

Retro Fishboards

My cat died, & it affected
me as much as losing my
mind. The science of what
makes your nails replace
themselves suggests that
long-distance runners shed
fur only to gain a soul
patch. May be a wardrobe

staple for most, but they're
always tight around my
hips. Have a browse &
find one which both suits
your needs & gives you
an evolutionary advantage.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

footwear #3

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Forty-five people are stuck in cable cars high above the 50th International Literacy Day · three women arrested in connection with a car laden with gas canisters that was found abandoned near Paris's Notre Dame cathedral were likely planning on reducing spending as the key means of effecting budget repair · former Prom Minister Toe Knee Ass-Bit has questioned his successor's decision to call a royal commission into why Samsung's Galaxy Note 7 phones have been exploding all over the place · a bespoke children's book originally penned as a gift for a one-year-old nephew now comprises one-third of the smart wearable device category sales.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

footwear #2

Sunday, September 11, 2016

as a result of . . .

Friday, September 09, 2016

He was last seen wearing an orange T-shirt

Thursday, September 08, 2016

from the depths of won des laits


Wednesday, September 07, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Pram Minister Malcontent Turnipball has warned a driver who was using a metal frypan as a steering wheel that he risks a mistake of historic proportions if he "hides under the doona" & ignores economic scaremongering · ex-Prem Ministrone Coven Rude has resurfaced on the international scene as a golden retriever called Romeo that has been pulled alive from a pile of rubble in central Italy · world leaders tried out the massively multiplayer online role-playing game 'World Of Warcraft' at an entertainment stand at the G20 meeting in Hangzhou but thought it didn't measure up to the real thing · the only proof you need that the Sun is the one true master of our solar system is first-time Airbnb user Holly telling local media that she agreed to rent her apartment to it for ten days, & returned to find her unit trashed, with rotten fruit covering the walls, a crack pipe in a vase, & many items missing.

Sunday, September 04, 2016

footwear #1

Saturday, September 03, 2016

Today the
postman brought
me details of
a competition
that simply
using the words
gemütlich &
caoutchouc in a
poem. Couldn't
think of any way
to do it so
not to enter.

Thursday, September 01, 2016


Wednesday, August 31, 2016

wednesday newstrip

There is a strong political bent to an action in the Supreme Court with a judgment expected in the case brought by Ombudsman Deborah Glass, who is seeking a determination as to whether the Gold Coast waitress killed in the North Queensland hostel rampage was only there because of a last-minute decision not to go to the Sunshine Coast as planned · Czech police detained tradesmen using earth-moving equipment who attempted to breach the motorcade of German Chancellor Angela Merkel · Apple has been forced to issue a global update of its mobile operating system after an established private cyberarms dealer found a way to hack every iPhone in the world · human-induced global warming began as early as the 1830s just as the Industrial Revolution was gaining steam, a new study shows · a shark has died after it was dumped in a puddle on the side of the road, 20 kilometers away from the ocean.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

focal point

Saturday, August 27, 2016


Thursday, August 25, 2016


if Trump is the best Jesus has to offer

it's no wonder the Xtians are losing the race.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

wednesday newstrip

The closing ceremony has wrapped up inside Maracana stadium, & the Games baton passed on to a plebiscite on same-sex marriage in 2020 · three saltwater crocodiles that were dumped at the closing ceremony are in such poor condition they will probably have to be put down · a flattish overall market disguises some violent share price moves in reporting companies, including a massive plunge by a slimmed-down version of the PlayStation 4 · a 102-year-old Perth academic told by his university to stop speculating about what aliens look like is not happy about their decision.

Monday, August 22, 2016

the end of the line

Friday, August 19, 2016


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Swan Hill police station was evacuated early on Sunday after Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte, were found in an abandoned car at Lake Boga · the latest buzz from Google seems to be that the search engine giant is working on a lightweight operating system (OS) called Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte · one year on from narrowly missing a medal at the World Championships, Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte, waited until the final three kilometers of the women's marathon to make their decisive move · Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte, will head to bushland north of Newcastle today after bushwalkers said they had discovered what is feared to be a greyhound burial site · 10-trillionths of your suntan comes from Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte · a 95-year-old woman has suffered smoke inhalation after being rescued from Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte, in her Auburn home on Saturday afternoon · bananas could be extinct in five years because of Four American swimming gold medalists, including Ryan Lochte.