wednesday newstrip

Prose Secretary Sean Spicegirl has denied DoNuts T®ump was under the influence of methamphetamine when he launched 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles against Syria, after a suspected chemical attack killed at least 86 people, including children · Philippine President Rodrigo No-Detente has ordered troops to live on up to 10 unoccupied islands & reefs in the South China Sea after crude oil prices spiked, the dollar weakened slightly, & markets fell in Asia on Friday because the U.S. fired dozens of coleoid cephalopods, a group encompassing octopuses, squid, & cuttlefish, into Syria · in a dramatic reversal of policy, Chinese officials have admitted that at the top of their concerns about the high stakes summit between President Xi Jinping & DoNuts T®ump is the worry that Precedent T®ump might embarrass their leader by making much more extensive use of RNA editing than other marine & land animals · Apple has been accused of falsely & misleadingly telling customers that because a California two-spot octopus ate their iPhone, they won't be getting it back · DoNuts T®ump bombed Syria 'because daughter Iyanka HisChain told him to.'