Saturday, April 29, 2006

Meanwhile, in the Hindu Kush

In the middle of dinner The Pope rings to offer me a great deal on home-delivered ice cream.

I do not hang up the phone, put it down on the hall table. From the dining room I can hear him in the distance prattling on in about sixty different languages. Not as many as the last one, but, hey, we can't all be perfect.

Dinner finished, I go back out & hang up the phone. I turn, slip on the melted ice cream on the floor.

The phone rings again. My wife answers. This time it's Dan Brown offering a great deal on health insurance. Oh, says my wife, I read all about you on Ron Silliman. That's nice, says Dan Brown. Now if you just get the answers right to a few simple questions you can join immediately, no waiting period, covers most things.

My wife asks if it covers accidental slippage, hangs up on him when he tells her it doesn't.

I stagger to my feet. The phone rings yet again. It's George W. Bush, asking if I'd like to join the war in Iraq.

What are the benefits, I ask.

Free health insurance that covers everything except violent death. More convolutions & plot twists than The da Vinci Code. Plus, all the ice cream you can eat.

I think about it for a moment, then decline. Too many other things to do.

My wife calls from the kitchen. I'm making coffee, Osama. Would you like some?

1 Comments:

Blogger Anna Piutti said...

Ahahah!

1:34 AM  

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